how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
