You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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