I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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