The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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