So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Less talking, more tequila
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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