he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
