butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I touched a dick in church today
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
