Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
