You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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