I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Your cock deserves a montage
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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