and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
