When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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