is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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