Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
