dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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