Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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