Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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