he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
