just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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