I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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