I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
