The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just tell him i said nine months
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
