alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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