Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
