actually, I'm a sock model
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
foreskin is a definite game changer
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
