I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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