well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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