Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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