i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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