It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
