no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
