I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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