YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
