Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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