apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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