she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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