question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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