operation harelip BJ is a go
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
