Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he shaved USA in his pubs
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
