i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
