I cockslap morals
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
