why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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