People with herpes should wear stickers.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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