quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just invented taco cereal.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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