so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
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