if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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