If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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