I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
