Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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