just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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